I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
