She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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