he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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