You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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