I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
as a side note pls kill me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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