I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
