Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's Friday. Sex?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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