Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
