u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
