4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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