Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
