So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
