My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
