Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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