Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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