You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
