he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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