It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
