someone owes me an orgasm
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
