Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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