I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
