Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
