All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My life is pants optional.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
