I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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