ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
