dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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