Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
