I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
