just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
