a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize