Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We got so high we made milksteak
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
