just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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