you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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