it was like his penis was on wheels.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
