I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
