Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is the high leading the old right now
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
