That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
