We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
