WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
