i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
