I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
