Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
