Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
