She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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