To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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