Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
