When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
