if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
