You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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