Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
