Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
