you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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