maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My life is pants optional.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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