We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
