Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I cut my penus on the lid.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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