Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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