my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
