All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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